Spilled Thoughts About You

I shouldn’t be jealous; 
you aren’t even mine
I shouldn’t be angry; 
you aren’t even mine
I shouldn’t be bothered; 
you aren’t even mine
I should be alright to
see you with her;
you aren’t even mine
but no; I can’t, it hurts
and it’s killing me to see
you looked so happy with her

***

I lied when I said I’m okay
I lied because I don’t want to 
make you worry about me
but sometimes, I wish you
could understand my silence
I hope you could realise that
I’m not okay, though I don’t 
say it to you directly

***

I always think of you before I fall asleep
I wonder how nice it would be 
if you could lay here beside me
staring at each other’s eyes
laughing at silly jokes
tickling each other
playing pillow war
singing to the night
then we fall asleep together
that’d be such a wonderful night